God: The Abusive Boyfriend

Ways the Christian God is like the most extreme version of an abusive (and possibly psychotic) boyfriend:

  • Needs constant praise and makes you feel guilty for just being human.
  • Has severe jealousy issues.
  • He lets painful experiences happen to you that he could easily prevent, just to test your devotion to Him.
  • Claims credit for everything good in your life; claims nothing bad in your life comes from Him.
  • Threatens you with eternal torture if you ever leave Him.
  • He is constantly swearing that He loves you and you need Him.(Thanks Richard Collins).

Ways to tell if you are in danger of being taken advantage of in a relationship with this abusive God:

  • You are highly defensive of Him from even the slightest criticism of His flaws.
  • You talk to Him every night, and He never responds yet still expects unwavering devotion.

These definitely have room for more! Let me know any new ones that you think up!

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